Unlike my husband who ate tuna & pot pies for 4 years for lunch, I get tired of the same old thing. I spent a good part of last night looking at different templates for my blog but since I downloaded the pictures from Mary’s birthday from Photobucket I can only use one column layout. So I am redesigning that day’s post to upload the super cute Halloween layout I found.
I am laying awake at night trying to figure out where to put all these pictures I am getting and planning locations for future ones. I am still trying to figure out if I need to take Mary to Portrait Innovations for her one year pictures; I think the answer is yes so they are consistent on the wall for 4 months, 6 months 9 months and then 1 year. Also the studio that took them for school does not offer a 10 x 13 only an 11 x 14 and they want $150 (mounted whatever that means) a piece for them!
Now if Courtney is reading this she is going to say “there is only one picture of me when I was Mary’s age - one at 10 months old and then not another one until I was 2!” The answer is simple you were not in daycare and we were BROKE! The choice was food or pictures, Mary just came along at a better time financially of course we are going to have to eat cat food during retirement but we will have a ton of pictures of Mary to look at while we do it!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Change is good!
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9 comments:
HERE IT IS!!!
As any of you who have been reading the articles in The Laxton Daily News you will certainly recall numerous referances to the clan gathering for Mary's Birthday. Now for the first time you can read the truth.
Liz as promised picked us up at the Airport in an Escalade just like Tony Soprano's. The only problem was that since I hadn't been present when she rented it, I couldn't drive it. I was informed I would be driving the Durango. You might recall that the Durango was the vehicle that broke down on the side of the road a few weeks back and had to be towed. You might also recall that the Durango hadn't been repaired as it would cost to much. It is on trade in status. Keep this fact in mind as you read on. Oh and by the way I was not allowed to smoke in the soon to be gone Durango.
Upon arriving at Liz's house I was informed by my son-in-law Chris G. that there was a pack of wolves in the back yard. Being somewhat intelligent I knew immediatley that I would not be hanging out in the backyard to enjoy a quite smoke. When my grandsons who were playing football in the front yard accidently tossed the ball over the fence into the back yard it created a dilemma as to who would retrieve it. Lucas either being the bravest or the dumbest volunteered. Once he got into the back yard he found there was no escape. His parents to their credit tried to let him into the house from the yard. After determining that there was no way of getting Luke back into the house without the entire wolf pack coming in with him, they did the only logical thing. They closed the door and locked the wolf pack and Luke in the back yard. Lucas after many unsuccessful attempts to scale the 6 foot fence with wolves holding on to him by his shoes finally managed to escape. No one entered the yard again until the wolf pack was removed on a temporary basis to the plantation. Chris G. also complained about having to sleep under a naked picture of Kenny Chesney in Courtney's room. It's best we don't go into that one any further.
Next on the agenda was a trip to a Mosquito/Red Ant infested swamp that Texan's refer to as a park. Here we met our photographer who was rather miffed that we arrived 40 minutes late for our shoot. I don't want to get too descriptive of our photographer for fear of alienating some minority group. Let's just say he was the Elton John of the portrait business. He kept referring to me as the Patriarch. That's cool. I guess it could be a Tony Soprano thing. Although their was something in the way he said it that sounded dirty. Well we took a couple hundred pictures at one end of the swamp and then walked clear to the other end for a few hundred more. My grandaughter Lauren had been bitten by so many Vampire Mosquitoes she needed a transfusion. The worst part was that every time I lit a cigarette I heard Elton say "I need the Patriarch". Can you believe two packs of cigarettes in 45 minutes.
Next we were off to the dinner party, but first I insisted we be allowed to check into our room at the hotel. Our bags were accumulating frequent flyer miles being driven across Texas. Once we brought the bags into the room I did not want to leave. I had a smoking room, chair, cable, and room service. Oh well we had commitments.
Mary's Birthday Dinner was next on the schedule. It was held at an Italian restaurant run by a very nice Iranian family. My grandson AJ thought he saw Osahma, but it turned out to be the cook. I somehow managed to get in trouble betting my three grandson's Twenty Dollars each that they couldn't eat a whole Chile Pepper. Two of them earned Twnty Bucks. The other was accompanied by his Mother to the bathroom. Hey I didn't force them. If you don't want your kid trying to earn money eating peppers give him a bigger allowance.
Now to the big day. While Theresa and Maria worked at Liz's house cooking and getting the house set up for the party Liz tried to find things to keep Cinder Courtney and her boyfriend busy working. I in the meantime with my wife, son-in-laws, and the grandchildren were enjoying the pool at the hotel, and a leasurly lunch at a Mexican Restaurant run by a very nice Italian couple. We were told to stay out of the way and did our best to comply.
It was now time to make the trek to Liz's house for the party. Remember the Durango? It wouldn't start. Isn't that the problem Liz had at the side of the road? Not wanting to whine about it we sought assistance and got it started.
Amazingly for not knowing how to get to Liz's house from the hotel or from anywhere else for that matter we made it. Can anyone tell me how you can be on roads of three differant names in a five mile stretch without having made a turn. I guess Texans have more names for roads than they have roads so they have to do the best they can.
We arrived at Liz's house at four, which was supposed to be when the party started, but no guests were there. Mary was taking a nap. My wife, daughters Theresa, and Maria and Lisa who had just arrived were working in the kitchen. We now had three women who know everything about everything and Theresa in the kitchen. Knowing this would lead to nothing good I started my escape through the living room on the way to the front door. There was Liz in the living room in her robe still trying to aggravate Cinder Courtney. Was this going to be a pajama party? Liz thwarted my escape and assigned me the task of blowing up the balloons with the helium tank. Since I was unsucessful in blowing up the advertised 35 balloons per helium tank I was berated and fired. I told them that tank wasn't full. Who you gonna believe me or Walmart? I was now outside just were I wanted to be. I watched my grandkid's playing in the street as I smoked cigarette after cigarette. How can my family tell me smoking is bad for my health and let their kid's play in the street. I took a long walk around the neighborhood and enjoyed the solitude.
When I got back to Liz's all the guests had arrived. It was then that the deceptiveness of the Texas Clan became evident. This was more than a birthday party for Mary. It was an OU gameday party. There in the family room was Ma Lisa the notorious leader of the Texans who support Oklahoma Football Gang. She had the whole family huddled around the bigscreen TV watching the OU/Missouri game. I was forcibly detained and forced to watch until Missouri took the lead and I was allowed to leave. I hope it wasn't something I said.
My troubles were far from over. As I made my way through the kitchen I came face to face with Ma Melba the notorious leader of the Texans who support Oklahoma football and Arizona baseball. She was accompanied by Big Eddie the quite enforcer. What's someone from Colorado to do?
Liz was now fully dressed and evidently not satisfied that she was still tormenting Cinder Courtney she was trying to shove cake in Mary's mouth against her will. Mary later struggled to open her gifts while being blinded by flashes from cameras. I couldn't tell if Elton the photograper was there as I couldn't see through the flashes.
Well Sunday came and after a short visit Liz and Courtney divided up the Colorado Clan for the trip to the Airport. Why the two of them were flying down the road trying to beat the other to the Airport I don't know since neither one knew what terminal we were supposed to go to. The worst part was the two of them calling each other on their cell phones to complain about the other ones driving. Liz finally called the Airlines and found out what gate and terminal we had to be at. We checked our bags, checked in, went through security, and found out we were in the wrong terminal. We then became very familiar with the train that runs between the terminals.
When we arrived home it was 36 degrees and raining, but no one was telling me I couldn't smoke.
In the interest of Blog Space which Lisa doesn't like me hogging I cannot discuss the folowing things:
The Police standoff we encountered on the way to and from the Birthday Dinner.
The underwear hanging from the fence at the pool.
The Cowboy's and Patriot's Game
The toilets in Liz's Driveway. Convenient but not very attractive.
The after dark Hay Cutting.
What Theresa and Chris found in Courtney's Bedroom.
Allright I've had my fun. In all seriousness. Thanks Liz and Jim for fying us down for the party, your hospitality, and all the trouble you went through to make our trip both enjoyable and memorable. Thanks Courtney for being our Grandaughter. Thanks Melba and Eddie. I wish we could see you more often. You are Special. Thanks Lisa and Roger your not as bad as Liz said you were. There I go again. Really we enjoyed being with the OU Crowd. We really had a great time. Most of all Thank God for giving Mary to us.
PS: Lisa can you get Al Gore to invent a Spell Check for this Blog?
I laughed most of the way through that - normally I would say you were exagerating but your recount is pretty factual - I am glad you guys all came down!
I laughed so hard a little pee did come out. Thanks Papa - I needed that. Cinder Courtney - CLASSIC!
Wait - I just realized there was no shout out to Maria??? What up with that?? Always the forgotten one!
Well since I was metioned many times in the recent blog, I guess I have to post a comment. So here it is: I laughed so hard a little pee did come out! I'm so happy yall were able to come down. Hope to see you soon.
Love Court
Wait! After all that was that Liz that just said Bob usually exagerates? LIZ is the one that exagerates...just like she had to have done when talking bad about me and poor Roger!
It was nice to see everyone and there were lots of positives.. a un-named person was not cooking or cleaning so there were no pot holders caught on fire and not a single glass was broken. I got to meet the infamous papasooman..you ain't as bad as I had heard either. :) Conner wasn't really injured too badly by AJ and I got to hear someone else's kids complaining about each other instead of mine! Oh..and last but not least...OU won! Not a bad day at all!
Lisa
PS...I will have my people call Al's people and get that spell check issue looked into. The main problem I see is that it might make global warming worse so Big Al's camp would be way against it. I really think all the ozone problems were caused by all the hair spray that Al and Jimmy Johnson have used over the years. But I could be wrong...
Wow, what a story! I felt like
I was there! Wait,I was. How about Liz telling me that she was so glad that Maria was there to help! I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE! By the way Mary had two Super Nannys at her beck and call and no progress. No baby in the crib, and Queen Mary is still the boss of pretty much everything. As Courtney would say, "And so it begins." Anyway thanks for a good laugh Papa! And thanks to the Laxtons for the trip. We adore the queen and her royal servant Cinder Courtney!
Auntie T
Anybody need a dog out there? I swear everytime I looked out the back door another one appeared. Lauren and Ellie kept begging to take Liberty home with us. Just when I finally convinced them that we didn't need another dog, they look out the window and little ol' Liberty's being dragged around the backyard by her tail.
The pepper incident was classic Papa. It didn't take long for him to shock Jim's family with a little Bob humor => Dinner at an Italian restaurant: $300, eating a sweet pepper: $20, watching Glenn's reaction to an 8 year old puking out a pepper, priceless. Run Glenn, run!
Thanks for the trip!
Chris
You guys are great... I laughed all the way through all 8 comments, especially the one from Papasooman. Great way to end the day. In all, it was a crazy but great weekend. We have a bunch of fantastic grandkids.
Nana
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