Oh darn it’s my biological clock again! With Mary’s first birthday just around the corner and the fact that I am not getting any younger that nagging voice is in my head again. “Do you want Mary to grow up without anyone to play with like Courtney did?”
I have gone over the pros and cons in my mind a million times. Talked to Jim about it (Mr “it’s up to you” - thanks honey- that’s a lot of help!). Sometimes I wish he would just say “Liz I am totally up for it let’s have another one” or say “Liz I think it’s a bad idea lets just be happy with Courtney & Mary”. I talked to Courtney about it (not really up for another one). So here I sit going back and forth - is it fair to Mary to go through another round of IVF and possibly another high risk pregnancy? Is it fair to Mary to grow up without having a sibling closer to her age? What if it doesn’t work this time? What if it does? Am I really ready for two little ones? Mary isn’t exactly a walk in the park, what if the next one is even more high maintenance than she is? What will the partners at my firm think? They were really supportive about having Mary but they may not be as thrilled about the next one.
I have asked God to give me a clear answer but I am not seeing it. So I wait - tick, tick, tick.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Tick tick tick
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6 comments:
Mom..... I love you very much. It's not that I don't want you to have another child. I love my little Mary Lou... I am worried about your health and dad's. Also we can barely get everything done right now. We don't get to bed until 10:30 every night, and we wake up at 5. Is it just me or are we crazy? If you really want another one.. then I am up for the challenge.. Lord.... Please let the next one be less tempered than Mary Lou.
Here is one more thing to add to the equation.How much joy would Mary derive from a little sister? Think about it. Remember your childhood? The answer is one word. Maria!!!
Poopsie? She was just misunderstood and needed more spankings!
We are so fortunate to have both Courtney and Mary and WOW, we still have you and Jim. I worried so much about you before we got Mary. She will do fine without a little brother or sister. She has all of us and her cousins to love her and play with. Enjoy your two wonderful daughters and be happy. We love you and will support you no matter what you decide.
Nana
I am in the same boat as you. I think about Presley being an only child too. The disappointment of a failed cycle really takes a toll on the heart. I hope God let's you know what path to take...you will know in your heart when he does.
Hey what's one more!! The more you have the easier they get. You will be fine either way. Mary would love another little one or if she doesn't have one she will never know the difference. I've only got one thing to say to Courtney, "And so it begins!!"
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